Everyone loves the olympics,^{[dubious - discuss]} but what if you hate every country? It's no fun without a team to support. Worry not, the 1984 classic Summer Games allows you to play as the ultimate fictional country: Epyx, the developer of Summer Games.

Set volume to a reasonable level, please rise and place your right hand over your heart: (youtube.com, 16s)

"games" games

It's a shame California Games wasn't successful enough to get any sequels, I'd love to see what they'd come up with for the rest of the states. Wisconsin Games: The cheese wheeler. The beer chug. The 50-yard sportswatch. That's all I got. I'm sure Epyx would do a better job.

tourist trap™

Remember the Heart Attack Grill? That shitty hospital-themed gimmick restaurant whose shtick was bragging about how unhealthy their food is? A full 1/3 of their website is now dedicated to what a bunch of badass trademark trolls they are.

In July of 2012 we received a federal judgment against the 2nd Ave Deli in New York City (2,500 miles away) which denied them the right to refer to a dish, which is foreign to anything sold by the Heart Attack Grill (a kosher pastrami sandwich), by using a term which is similar (but not even identical) to our registered trademarks anywhere outside of Manhattan. The judgment also restricted the New York Deli from using another similar (not even identical) term on any interior or exterior signage, or to depict that term with any image on its menus. 2nd Ave Deli attempted to appeal the decision but their appeal was denied.

Does this sound like someone who's operating in good faith? In my opinion, it sounds like they're saying "we abused trademark law to harass a restaurant that's not even infringing, that's how hardcore we are." I'm no expert, but I wonder if this could be used as evidence in a reversal or a counter-suit or something. I dunno, it seems pretty damning to me.

Also funny:

We do NOT franchise but are seeking strategic partnerships through licensing arraignments [sic] with industry leaders...

Yeah buddy, I hope you get the arraignment you're looking for. You deserve it

hot snack take

A cracker (in the US sense of the word) is defined by the ability to use it as a base for other ingredients. A cracker can be eaten on its own, or crumbled into soup, but you should also be able to put things on it, like cheese and spreads. Therefore, the so-called "goldfish cracker", like its spiritual ancestor, the "oyster cracker", is not actually a cracker at all; it is a crouton. Trust me, I'm a raccoon 🦝