Oh thank god, an easy assignment. I was going to panic if the teacher assigned another essay today.

I got this from checkervest. You can see the original image with the questions in their post.

1 like = 1 answer, eh? Well, I can't see my analytics for some reason, so I have to use advanced bayesian statistical inference to derive an appropriate estimate. Inferring... inducing... inferring... inducing... inferred. The figure I've arrived at is 26.

1. How do you drink your tea?

It varies wildly by the type of tea. I much prefer cold drinks to warm, so usually iced black tea, sweetened, by the half-gallon.

2. Favorite dessert?

Cheesecake.

3. Favorite season and why?

Fall, because it means the end of summer.

4. What cheers you up?

Not having to work.

5. Dogs or cats?

I like both, I have neither. I tend to have way more interactions with neighborhood cats these days.

6. What is your dream holiday?

Spending a few years traveling to all the major places, assuming air travel is ever safe again.

7. How many kids do you want?

Zero.

8. Favorite weather?

Cool, cloudy and windy.

9. What would your last meal be?

Declined. If I'm going to be murdered by the state I won't give them the satisfaction of "allowing" me anything. Wow, some of these questions aren't comfy at all

10. You can spend 24 hours anywhere, any year, where would you choose?

No opinion

11. If you were a ghost, who or where would you haunt?

I dunno, I guess I'd haunt whatever asshole killed me. That's how it's supposed to work, right?

12. What is your family ancestry?

Don't know, don't care.

13. What scares you?

Bees

14. What are you most grateful for?

My wonderful spouse, of course ❤️

15. Dream job?

Completely independent creative person

16. Do you believe in aliens?

No opinion

17. Favorite sport?

Ice Hockey on the NES is pretty fun

18. How do you relax after a long day?

Watching stuff

19. If you could meet one historical figure, who would you choose and why?

I'm not interested in celebrities, but I'd meet some ahistorical figures. Maybe Santa Claus, or if he's not available, Krampus

20. If you had to be a teacher, what subject would you teach?

Probably English or Literature or something. College-level.

21. Describe your perfect day.

What the hell, I thought I said no essays. Pass

22. Describe yourself in a sentence.

I'm an anarchist writer and raccoon.

23. Who makes you laugh the most?

Uh... Probably someone I'm in a parasocial podcast relationship with

24. What superpower would you choose?

Stopping time, please

25. Favorite animal?

🦝

26. Biggest accomplishment?

I have no objective criteria by which to measure them, so my subjective answer right now is "none". I probably won't feel like this forever.