Defining Success, Pyramid Schemes, and The Grind
One piece of wisdom that's served me very well, and I will happily dispense to anyone who asks if I have any wisdom to share,1 is this: "don't let other people define success for you."
We live in capitalism, and the ideas of success our culture and stories perpetuate is the one that aligns with the goals of capitalism, i.e. grinding until you win. Working yourself to death until you have the nice house, the luxury car, the expensive watch or handbag, the other markers of wealth that demonstrate value to other people who also define success in accordance with this hell system. Growing up in dire poverty with an abuser and an enabler for parents helped me figure out pretty early on that the deck is stacked heavily against me, and that trying to force myself to play the game would make me even more miserable, so I opted out, which has been good for me overall; but for a long time, what I lacked was something to replace it. What was my definition of success? I drifted along with a sort of aimless nihilism for some time, until I started going to therapy and learned that I am (1) deserving of love and (2) allowed to want things. I'm still figuring this stuff out, but basically what I now consider success is:
- Have meaningful relationships
- Express myself creatively and make things I'm proud of
- Keep learning and growing
- Bonus goal: see more of the world
#4 is a long-term goal, because that one does require some money. I have been lucky enough to do a little bit of travelling, but not as much as I'd like. 1-3 are the big ones, and I'm doing okay. Money doesn't really come into it except inasmuch as it helps me do things with my friends, and helps me make things.
Of course, money is necessary to eat and have a place to live, but I don't really consider that "success" as much as necessities owed to all humans, because we all deserve life and dignity. I don't need a lot of material possessions to make things, basically just my 10-year-old computer, so I'm good there.
The main thing standing in my way of success is the demands of full-time employment. If I didn't have to worry about that, if I had my basic needs met like all humans deserve, I'd have a lot more time for spending time with friends and making things, which would be much more useful for society than whatever I do to earn a paycheck. But given the constraints of the society I live in, I feel pretty successful. I value myself and feel valued by others, which is rad.
Pyramid Schemes
I'm a fan of Hannah Alonzo's Influencer Insanity series on youtube. I don't "engage" with any of these "influencers" or their "content", but it's fun seeing frauds being exposed. Her explanations and reactions are entertaining, and her takes are always thoughtful and considered. I was aware that she had also made a lot of anti-"MLM" videos, but I hadn't explored them because I thought I had a pretty good grasp on why multi-level marketing schemes are bad. I didn't think there would be a lot of new information there.
Her recent video about the Lebrant family, who I had never heard of before but are intensely loathsome humans,2 crossed over with her MLM experience, because the brodad of the family, Cole, got about a thousand of their followers to join a zoom call in which he attempted to rope them into joining a pyramid scheme called NeoLife. I'd never heard of it, and there's basically zero authoritative critical information about it online, but their scam is nutritional supplements and they've been around since the 50s. It's even scummier than your typical MLM pitch, because the couple are already parasitic multimillionaires who got rich exploiting their children for ad views, but the depths of their greed are so extreme that they would also exploit a coterie of their most trusting and loyal fans. It's truly sickening, and I highly recommend watching Hannah's incredulous takedown.
It made me realize that, like everything else, MLMs have changed significantly in the era of big-time social media. I started watching some videos from her anti-MLM playlist and it struck me how central the need for a big social media presence is to the modern pyramid scheme. Recruiters are not encouraged but commanded to pump out tiktok videos and instagram reels basically all the time, not even necessarily to pitch the product, or directly try to recruit people, but primarily to sell the lifestyle. They're to talk about how much better their lives are since they joined the MLM, how it enabled them to become financially independent, go on "free" trips to exotic locales like Las Vegas and Palm Springs, and obtain "free cars" for their efforts (all lies, as Hannah gets into early in the series.)
The whole social media MLM culture is drenched in toxic positivity. Anyone whose friends or family are critical of their involvement in the pyramid scheme is encouraged to dismiss them as haters who simply don't want them to succeed. I was dismayed when one of the influencers Hannah covers in an early video uses "don't let other people define success for you" as a security blanket against criticism. How tragic that an ethos I associate with a self-secure anticapitalist life of simple joy is being used to promote the exact opposite. I suppose it's a cliche that's outlived its usefulness if this is how people are twisting it. There's no real point in offering a rebuttal, but that's how my brain works, so here it is anyway:
Criticizing your involvement in a multi-level marketing scheme isn't "defining success for you": it's warning you that your definition of success is mathematically impossible. Like shitcoin and meme stocks, multi-level marketing is a bigger fool scam. Recruiters aren't looking for co-workers or employees or team members, they're looking for bagholders. By the time someone's telling you about a unique business opportunity, or a promising new crypto token, or an exciting investment opportunity, it's too late for you to be at the top of the pyramid. The market is already saturated with people trying to do the same thing you are. You are all crabs desperately clawing and climbing on top of each other, and you'll never reach the top of the bucket.
Pyramid schemes are required to disclose their income distribution, and across the board, the vast majority of participants make nothing, a tiny fraction of a percent makes something resembling a living wage, and a fraction of a fraction of a percent makes an income that can support the lavish lifestyle the influencers pretend to live:
Whatever scheme you're curious about, google [name]+"income disclosure" and you're sure to find a chart that looks a lot like this. If your definition of success is breaking into that top three hundredths of a percent, not only is this unattainable, but you're going to hurt a lot of people along the way.
The Grind
There's a glitch in human cognition3 that these scam artists exploit, and it's the unwavering faith in The Grind: the assertion that no matter the goal, it will be achieved if only one works hard enough. No matter what you want to do, if you work 16 hour days for 5 years, success is not only guaranteed but practically divinely ordained. Hard work is treated as an axiomatic good, and the universe rewarding hard workers is just the natural order of things. But in reality, critical thinking is much more important than hard work.
If you start a business selling widgets, and you buy the widgets for $2.00 apiece and sell them for $1.50, no amount of hard work will make up the shortfall in this business plan.4 You can get out there and knock on doors and pound pavement until your feet are calloused and sore, you can move thousands of units through sheer force of will, and you're just going to get deeper and deeper in the red.
Life isn't an RPG where you can keep doing a thing until you level up. If you want to become an artist, you can't just draw for 8 hours a day and wait for your skills to improve. You might become marginally better in some aspects through repetition and osmosis, but unless you really look at what you draw and ask yourself: does this look the way I intended? What are the problems with it? What can I do to make it look better next time? You're not going to make any meaningful improvements.5 I think this is why so many people who try to learn a new skill get frustrated and quit, because we've been sold a lie. Hard work will not, in and of itself, solve all our problems. In many cases, it makes the problems much worse. Only through introspection, a willingness to self-critique, vulnerability, and the help of others can we truly grow. However you define it, that's success you can possess 🦝
I'm 40 this year, so this is bound to start happening any day now. Right?↩
I'm referring to Cole and Savannah, the children are of course innocent victims.↩
Let's face it, this seems to be mostly an American thing.↩
Unless you're a giant corporation who can afford to burn money for years operating at a loss until you decimate all the competition, but this business plan isn't one that scales down.↩
Important disclaimer: you're not obligated to improve! If drawing makes you happy, and you're okay continuing to draw the same way, go for it. That can be success, too.↩