a rickety bridge of impossible crossing

I Wish There Was A Magazine For Dogs

Woof bork! Woof woof bork pant #GarbageDigest woof woofers. Bark bark snort 01 bork 14. Bark bork pant.

Woof woof blog snort whine.

a disturbing trend

I always have my phone in "do not disturb" mode, because I never want to be disturbed. I can't imagine I ever will. I'm glad the option's there, but I kinda wonder why they made it disturbing to begin with

bluelander's basilisk

They say to be careful what you wish for. I don't know why. Whether I wish for something doesn't seem to have any bearing on whether I get it, or whether it happens. I wish for a million good and terrible things every day, nothing bad's ever happened.

Maybe the worry is that someone will find an actual non-fictional genie, and their wish will be that that any wish made by everyone else in the world at that moment would be granted instead. It's allowed under genie law, because they're technically not wishing for more wishes, they're just selflessly amplifying the effect of their own wish, sacrificing one for the good of humanity.

That's the theory, anyway. I think even if their intentions were good, it would be a metaphysical disaster. Could you imagine the chaos of 7 billion1 wishes simultaneously being granted? How would reality cope with the wishes that contradict each other? The very fabric of causality would come apart at the seams.

So yeah, be careful what you wish for, especially if it's the wish I just told you about. I kinda wish I didn't even bring it up. Maybe don't go spreading this one around. I don't think genies are real, but just in case.

a great legacy

For being one of the most important figures in history, Caesar doesn't have a lot of impressive stuff named after him. A birthing method. A dressing by way of a salad. A haircut that—look, it's basically just a bowl cut.

Conversely, look at all the stuff Alexander the Great had named after him: a group of lakes in North America, a barrier reef, a wall in China, the pyramids of Giza...

mix-up at the eyebrow place

When I asked you to pencil me in, I didn't mean I wanted you to pencil me in 🦝

  1. Let's face it, we're all wishing for something all the time, consciously or unconsciously, even if it's as simple as "I wish my back wasn't so stiff"