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I have vague memories of listening to a podcast or radio show that was sponsored by CSX, the US freight train company. I think it was something from back when I listened to NPR shows, because it wasn't an ad or I would've skipped it, it was just a brief "brought to you by" message at the beginning. It must've been at the beginning of every episode of a show that I binged, because the tagline is burned into my brain: "CSX: how tomorrow moves"

But like, why? How many NPR listeners do they think are going to need to ship freight? That's not something I've ever needed or ever will, and yet this random corporate cheer is now lodged in my long-term memory, probably for good. I wish it wasn't. Oh well. At least I only think about it when I see a freight train, which doesn't happen much these days.

Thanks to watching hours of Nickelodeon as a child, I have ad jingles for toys burned into brain that come to mind apropos of nothing. I hate it. No one should have to grow up with a song with a song putting words to Funiculì, Funiculà to advertise a shitty board game as one of their formative experiences. It should be illegal to advertise to children.

Young people, enjoy ad-free culture as much as you can! You never know what dumb stuff a corporation says to try to trick you into wasting money you'll wish you could get out of your head 20 years from now. Or maybe you'll find yourself accidentally shipping some freight. "Nuts," you'll say, "I could've mailed that for like five bucks. Why did I spend ten thousand dollars to rent a box car? I thought NPR was supposed to be paid for by listeners like me. Why would they trick me into shipping freight? Now that I spent all my money, ironically I'll have to start living in a box car, like the children in those books I never read. They seemed like they'd be depressing. But I sure wish I read them now. I could've learned how to survive living in a box car." Maybe that'll happen to you and you'll say that. And you may ask yourself, "well, how did I get here?" 🦝