youpers

The upper peninsula of Michigan thinks they're soooo great just because they're basically Canada. Well you know what, we have youpers here too. Our youpers are in the U.P. of West Virginia: the upper panhandle. We have an E.P. too. Take that, you equally marginalized geographic region

mea culpa

I'm very sorry that I've been advocating a return to the gold standard for the last four decades. What I meant to say was, we should go back to when everyone followed the golden rule. I always get those mixed up, haha. You'd want me to forgive you if you made an oopsie like that, right?

new product

Whale Water. You know civet coffee? It's like that, but water collected from a whale, post-spout. Why not? It's probably good for you. Whale diets are nutrient-dense and full of the phytochemicals and krill oil that every mammal needs to stay strong and healthy. That's right, whales are mammals, just like you! Whale Water: Just Drink It^™ 🦝