keep it sensible, Simmons

Sure, I don't doubt that KISS was partying every day, but if you read between the lines, they only rocked and rolled all night the one time. I'm sure other than that outlier, they ended each day's revelry with a solid 7-8 hours of rest. No one can keep that kind of lifestyle up for long without lots of good REM sleep, I don't care how much of the devil's root beer they've been chugging.

the only smart home appliance I want to see

Is a compulsory TP holder that automatically detects whether you hung the roll the correct way; and if you didn't, it screams until you fix it. I call it the Paper Pal™.

fictional description of a hypothetical property crime

Sneaking into Sotheby's to play a quick game of Vase Hammer $40k 🦝