Soupernauts
Sup youtube, it's time for Soupernauts, the lightning-fast soup review show where we aim to answer one simple question: Is it souper? Or is it not?
1. Tomato
Wow, one thing? How boring is that? If I wanted one thing, I'd just eat the thing. Yawnsville
Rating: NOT!
2. Vegetable
Too vague. Suspiciously vague. Imagine I offered you a bowl of meat soup. "What kind of meat?" The best kind. They're definitely good meats, trust me
Rating: NOT!
3. Lobster bisque
Is bisque soup? Lobster bisque is so good that I don't care.
Rating: Souper!
4. Brunswick stew
I know this isn't soup; it's got "stew" right in the name.
Rating: D/Q
5. Chicken noodle
Hell yeah, that's how you do it. You got your chicken, and you got your noodles. Two things, now that's a soup.
Rating: Souper!
6. Cream of mushroom
Eyebrows raised. That "of" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. If this soup is made of mushroom cream, how come I've never seen a carton of it for sale? I don't think mushrooms are even mammals.
Rating: NOT!
7. Spaghetti-Os
Heck yeah! Spaghetti-Os!
Rating: Heck yeah!
8. Ramen
Instant ramen good. Real ramen great. Eat it in a bowl. Eat it on a plate. That's not true. Put it in a bowl. Don't use a plate. Sorry for the troll.1
Rating: Souper!
9. Phở
It's phởntastic~
Rating: Souper!
10. Cockchafer Soup
Heh
Cockchafer soup is a European dish made from the cockchafer insect [CW: photo of bug]
oh no
Rating: oh no
11. Chicken and stars
It's the same as chicken noodle soup. Do you think I'm some kinda rube? I have nothing else to say about this.
Rating: NOT!
12. Bœuf à la Bourguignonne
Anything this hard to spell and pronounce has got to be good.
Rating: Souper!
And finally, rounding us out to a baker's dozen, that great American classic, it's...
13. Tomato soup with goldfish crackers
This. This is where the magic happens.
Rating: Souper!
Oh look, that's all the time we have for today somehow. I don't know why. This is the internet. I could keep going as long asSMASH CUT
Please join me for the next episode as soon as I think of a dozen or so more kinds of soup 🦝
For this joke, try to imagine you're watching someone actually say it aloud in a youtube video, instead of just seeing it written down like this. Wouldn't that be weird?↩