a rickety bridge of impossible crossing

vampire league bowling

I bet Dracula is way into video game golf, golf being the one sport he can't experience properly because you really need ample sunlight to play. Any other sport you can play indoors, or artificial lights are enough, but with golf, you really gotta be able to see where that ball goes. Some courses set up floodlights at night, but it's just for puttering (😎) around, you can't play a proper game that way.1

fluorescent golf ball

Fluorescent golf balls are cool, but the trails only look laser-y in long-exposure photos.

I often wonder if Dracula would prefer more simulation-style golf, such as a PGA Tour or Microsoft Links, or if he's into sillier more arcade-y golf games, like Mario or Hot Shots. Maybe he likes a little of both, depending on his mood. I guess when you're immortal you're gonna play everything, eventually.

I bet he also likes video game pool. I don't think he'd be into real billiards or snooker, 'cause he probably gets nervous around that many pointy wooden sticks. Sure, they have the little leather tips you put chalk on, but those can be broken off, and pool cues are one of the go-to improvised weapons in bar fights. Better not to risk it.

Now bowling? Dracula will wreck a bowling alley. Any game with a maximum score is one you're eventually going to dominate if you live forever. He's bowled so many 300s the number's lost all meaning. He's been forced into retirement at bowling alleys all over the world. He has to play in special open-ended tournaments with other vampires where the winner is the whoever bowls the most 300s in a row.

It's incredibly boring for spectators—once you've watched ten vampires all bowl perfect games, the next dozen games in the series don't get more exciting—but alleys are glad to have the extra income, since night bowling isn't as popular among the living these days. The death of disco was the best thing that could've happened for Vampire League Bowling, but Dracula does miss it whenever he goes clubbing. All this modern computer music sounds so bleak to him 🦝

  1. Harrington, Lars. Night Golf: Can You Really Play Golf At Night? (cherrywoodgolfclub.com, 2020)

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